In search for the Exclusive Orgasm

I would like to comment on the reading “In search of the exclusive orgasm” in Young Wives’ Tales by Lori L. Tharps. As Lori states in the beginning of the story: “Basically, it comes down to this: The Harlequin romance novel and all of its heftier bodice-ripping incarnations shaped the way I viewed sexuality. It's how I cobbled together my understanding of what really went on between a man and a woman, only to discover eighteen years later that I got it all wrong.” I feel this is the case for many young individuals for virtually every subject. Like women with Disney and their perception of love, or men and their perception of how a woman should be, or act in bed. The media along with Hollywood create these fantasy “scenarios” of how life is; when in reality it is nothing of the sort. I remember watching certain shows and getting this idea of how teenage love was: two people madly in love with the world on their shoulders, but only to discover it was a nightmare. They forget to tell you about the details: disloyal, betrayal, immature, and the list goes on. Unfortunately it was the same situation with Lori and her sexual experiences. The authors of these romance novels overstate the sexual experiences between a man and a woman, which as Lori, and I am sure many other individuals, discovered is nothing close to the real experiences between “normal” human beings. Granted everyone experiences situations differently, but I do not think many can relate to what the media holds “true” about many situations, especially sexual. It can relate to what we saw in class on 20/20 where Jenny McCarthy was talking about woman and multitasking and how they will think about having to do the dishes or something while they are having sex. Where I believe it is all about willpower and the self-efficacy. If you think you are going to fail, you will probably fail. If you think you are not going to enjoy sex, you probably will not. This can be back-up by what Lori says, “This time, instead of thinking about masturbation, I just focused on feeling pleasure. When my loins started quivering and my hips started thrusting of their own accord, I turned on my turtle and immediately started shivering with waves of pleasure. In less than five minutes, I felt it.” I guess the power of thought really is a powerful thing.