Beyond the Politics of Inclusion

I would like to comment on the reading “Beyond Politics on Inclusion: Violence Against Women of Color and Human Rights” by Andrea Smith.  She points out a very good statement: “We must center women of color in the analysis; it becomes clear that we must develop approaches that address interpersonal and state violence simultaneously. In addition, we find that by centering women of color in the analysis, we may actually build a movement that more effectively ends violence not just for women of color, but for all peoples.” This approach had never occurred to me, but it makes total and complete sense. In addition, I did not realize that the United States policies had such negative effects on issues such as sexual and domestic violence involving women of color. I now have a better understanding of the bigger picture of “human rights”. The protection of fundamental human rights was a foundation stone in the establishment of the United States over 200 years ago, and look how far it has gone…not very!

http://www.sistersong.net/

Resisting Violence Against Women

I would like to comment on the chapter 10 reading from Shaw and Lee: Resisting Violence Against Women. I would like to start by commenting on the statement that “Men are likely to suffer physical violence at the hands of other men. In childhood and adolescence, males are especially at risk for suffering physical abuse by female and male caretakers and sexual abuse by other males.”  I find this information especially surprising, who would have thought. I would also like to comment on the pornography involvement with violence against women. I agree with the book when they view pornography as eroticizing unequal power relations between men and women. Pornography is usually associated with the male population and it starts at a young age, and can install this image in their head that women are inferior to men in regards to sex, which can lead one to sexual violence against women.  Regardless if it is hard-core or soft, pornography puts a negative label on all women. Yes people argue it is entertainment, which it is, however if it is going to stay within our culture (I do not see it ever fadingL) it could be portrayed with less controversy: explicit sex without violence that is neither degrading nor dehumanizing. Overall I cannot fathom the statistics involving violence against women, and the most shocking of it all is that it is underreported! The book states, “Although women are less likely than men to be victims of violent crimes overall, women are 5 to 8 times more likely to be victimized by an intimate partner.”  To me this is ridiculous. Intimate is a word that describes closeness, warmth, friendliness, familiarity, and one that you can cherish, so why on earth would someone want to victimize someone who is to resemble those things?

http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence/

http://www.now.org/issues/violence/

http://www.amnestyusa.org/violence-against-women/violence-against-women---a-fact-sheet/page.do?id=1108440

Women's Work Inside and Outside the Home

I would like to comment on the chapter eight of Shaw and Lee, which was one of our readings for the week; Women’s Work Inside and Outside the Home. It is quite amazing how far women have come since the beginning of what we now called the United States of America. It almost seems like women have been forced on this rollercoaster ride, which has had its up and downs, twists and turn, while accelerating fast at times, and almost trying to slow them down to a complete halt other times. It almost seems like women regardless of what they want are on the continued rollercoaster ride, not allowed to be let off for nothing, except maybe to attend to family matters. I do not mean to put this into such an analogy, but that is how I can explain this terrible norm that has been casted down upon women and minorities. It is like everyone is watching them ride this ride waiting for some sort of crash, so they do not have to deal with them, or waiting for them to say we are content. However I feel that if there is this continued glass-ceilings, glass elevators, vertical and horizontal segregation, value and prestige associate with work that men and women do and so forth that this roller-coaster ride will never be stopped.

http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/students/10_surprising_stats_on_women_in_workplace.htm

The History of Working Women

I would like to comment on the reading A Brief History on Working Women. I would like to start off by stating that I cannot believe the discrimination among women, especially women of a non-white background. I reflect on how I have perceived myself as “having it rough” because I am woman; however I have come to realize that I am a woman of a white background, so with that comes some privileges. I am not saying that I am satisfies with the position of woman, because I am not. I am just suggesting that out of all the individuals and groups discriminated against, the ones who suffer the most would be women of a non-white background. In the reading it mentioned something about women of color receive double oppression of not only sexism but racism too. I could not image how life was and still is for many of these individuals. I fortunately have been award the white privilege, without even realizing it. There are many things I have access to more readily than those of color without fully realizing it. I also feel that it was terrible what the White Anglo-Saxons did to the Native Americans, destroying their culture, because it was not the culture of the dominant individuals (whites). I think it was very interesting that Native Americans had more of a matrilineal family structure. Native Americans had a culture where the woman held a more important role. I think that the White Anglo-Saxons tried to destroy this culture, because of the fear of it spreading into the mainstream culture. I mean could you imagine what life would be like if our culture was more like that of how the Native Americans use to have? Very different, that is for sure.

Partners as Parents

I would like to comment on the reading Partners as Parents: Challenges Faced by Gays Denied Marriage by Charlene Gomes. I feel puzzled by the beginning of this reading when I read the part of the constitution, and then finished the rest of the reading, which suggests that this bit in the constitution apparently does not apply to homosexual couples or that they are very well at finding the loopholes. There are just many stipulations of any law with regards to homosexuality. I found it interesting that generally if the noncustodial biological parent consents, stepparents may adopt the child(ren). Yet, in the same situation, same-sex life partners usually require rigorous home visits and family studies. I also found it interesting that gays are more readily allowed to adopt special-needs children. Like the author mentions, why are the people who some label as unfit to parent often given children with the most needs and care? Beside if a gay couple is willing to follow through on adopting a special needs child; that shows there has to be something there that is lacking in others. I mean there are some heterosexual couples who give their special needs children up for adoption, merely for the fact that they are special needs. The most appalling thing in the reading was the couple cases she mentioned. The sad part is, those are just two examples of theses bizarre cases that made it to the public. I am sure there are many more that go unnoticed or recognized. Ward vs. Ward decision was the most shocking to me. They awarded a father’s petition for a change in custody based on the mother being a lesbian, despite the fact that the father had been convicted of murdering his first wife. I mean, come on! Where is the evidence on that one? Any person could tell you that was a terrible and stupid decision. What is wrong with our JUSTICE system? In my assumption, there seems to be no justice in this world, and if some argue there is, well, it is going to the wrong hands!  Reading this has really made me questioned this stratification system in which I live in. Come on people (especially the ones who should know better), do your research!

http://isocrat.org/science/children_of_ssp/effects.php

http://gbge.aclu.org/parenting/summaries-leading-research-gay-parents

Man Child

I would like to comment on the reading Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response by Audre Lorde. I think this is an inspiring reading. The writer describes how she has no specific way in raising her children, especially since she is lesbian, African American, and a feminist. She states, “The truest direction comes from inside. I give the most strength to my children by being willing to look within myself, and by being honest with them about what I find there, without expecting a response beyond their years. In a way they begin to look beyond their own fears”.  I think this takes a lot of courage to do this. She also mentioned that she wishes to show her son that she is not there to do the feelings for him. Which before this I had never took into consideration, but most men do let woman do their feelings for them. Not all men, but most.  Any man can state an opinion, but can they state their feelings? I think it is true what Audre says, “Men who are afraid to feel must keep woman around to do their feeling for him”. As I am sure there are many assumptions as to why woman stay with a man. Maybe it is biological, woman “feel” more than men, whatever the circumstance, I found it quite interesting. I feel like she has done just as good or if not a better job than that of a heterosexual couple does in raising their kids. It shows in the comment of her son Jonathan reflecting his strongest benefit of growing up with lesbian parents, he felt he knew a lot more than most other kids his age that he knew, and that he did not have a lot of hang-ups that some other boys did about men and women.

Girls Camp Rock

I would like to comment on the reading about the Girls Rock Camp. I think that the Girls Rock Camp was a great idea. It sounded great in the reading; however I was glad we were shown the documentary film in class, because it gave me a visualization of what the reading was trying to explain. I mean learning about what Misty does for these children during the reading was great. I guess I just wanted to emphasize how beneficial the film was to actually see the wonders Misty was talking about in the assigned reading. I am sure that all girls have felt the way Misty described feeling when she was not allowed to play in a band with boys. It may not pertain to music, but I am sure every woman can relate to being told they cannot do something because they were a woman. I think she has done so much for girls, to give them the confidence they need to do something others might not believe can be done. She was influenced by Ladyfest, which I attached a link if others are interested to see what it is about. It is also a somewhat toned down spinoff of Riot Grrrl Revolution too. I guess I cannot stress enough just how great things like the Camp Rock for girls that Misty does is. It is just what girls need growing up in this influential and pressured world.

http://www.ladyfest.org/

http://www.girlsrockcamp.org/main/

Riot Grrrls

I would like to comment on the reading about the Riot Grrrl’s by Alison Jacques. I think the Riot Grrls were so influential. I feel almost like I missed out on it, however I attended Sara Marcus’ talk on campus about the Grrrl Revolution, and she said that is a typical response from most girls. They feel like they missed out on an influential time in history. Sara Marcus said that any influence is better than none at all, and that most people do not give themselves enough credit. She also commented on how the internet is not as effective as people portray it to be. People think that they are more involved; however it is actually more isolating. People tend to be more alone on the internet, because there is less engagement. I just thought it was an interesting point she brought up. I had never thought of it that way. Most young people think they are so influential and making such a difference on the internet, when really it is the complete opposite! Get involved in the community of you want to make a difference, get out into the real world, not the web world. Enough about the side note, back to the reading. I was very pleased to get the chance to learn about the Riot Grrls, because I was too young to know about them when they were actually doing all their influencing in the 90’s. I just think it was great that women branched out from the norm, while making a difference. They did not feel like they had to follow standards to get their point across, and that is what makes it so much more interesting and notorious. I also think the name was quite cleaver…The name "Riot Grrrl" is a deliberate manipulation of signs: the word "r l.o t" implies protest and aggression; the word "girl" describes female childhood and is condescending when used to refer to a grown woman; the transformed word ''grrrl" literally includes a growl that turns the sugar-and-spice connotations of "girl" upside-down.

 http://onewarart.org/riot_grrrl_manifesto.htm

http://www.girlstothefront.com/

Sexual Desire and Gender

I would like to comment on “Sexual Desire and Gender” by Pepper Schwartz and Virginia Rutter. There was a sentence in the reading that really got me thinking, “We believe, however, that it is hard to tease apart biological differences and social differences. As soon as the baby enters the world, it receives messages about gender and sexuality.” There more and more I think about this statement, the more and more it becomes clear; there is no way to break this cycle. As we have discussed earlier, as soon as people know individuals are expecting everyone always asks the famous question. “Boy or girl?”  And why does this matter? Like the reading suggests, “The different treatment continues throughout life, and therefore a sex difference at birth becomes amplified into gender differences as people mature.” This is quite sad if you think about it. Why does it have to be this way? I think the only way to break this cycle is the end the world and start over. I know it seems harsh and way out there, but if you think about it, it is the only way things would ever be any different. This notion about Gender and sexual desire will never change unless the individuals who reinforce this notion no longer exist. That is my opinion on that. On another note; I found the experiment they conducted toward the end of the reading very entertaining; where they showed men a picture of different woman, while listening to their heartbeat (or so they thought). They were then asked to pick the woman they found most attractive, however the men picked the woman who sped up their heartbeat the fastest, regardless of how attractive they thought each woman was. I thought this was really quite interesting. It attempts to explain how men and women chose their potential mates. I believe men want excitement, and women want security. Maybe this is how the saying “opposites attract” came about, or the saying, “men think with their head (and not the one on their shoulder either).” …Something to leave you with to think about.

In search for the Exclusive Orgasm

I would like to comment on the reading “In search of the exclusive orgasm” in Young Wives’ Tales by Lori L. Tharps. As Lori states in the beginning of the story: “Basically, it comes down to this: The Harlequin romance novel and all of its heftier bodice-ripping incarnations shaped the way I viewed sexuality. It's how I cobbled together my understanding of what really went on between a man and a woman, only to discover eighteen years later that I got it all wrong.” I feel this is the case for many young individuals for virtually every subject. Like women with Disney and their perception of love, or men and their perception of how a woman should be, or act in bed. The media along with Hollywood create these fantasy “scenarios” of how life is; when in reality it is nothing of the sort. I remember watching certain shows and getting this idea of how teenage love was: two people madly in love with the world on their shoulders, but only to discover it was a nightmare. They forget to tell you about the details: disloyal, betrayal, immature, and the list goes on. Unfortunately it was the same situation with Lori and her sexual experiences. The authors of these romance novels overstate the sexual experiences between a man and a woman, which as Lori, and I am sure many other individuals, discovered is nothing close to the real experiences between “normal” human beings. Granted everyone experiences situations differently, but I do not think many can relate to what the media holds “true” about many situations, especially sexual. It can relate to what we saw in class on 20/20 where Jenny McCarthy was talking about woman and multitasking and how they will think about having to do the dishes or something while they are having sex. Where I believe it is all about willpower and the self-efficacy. If you think you are going to fail, you will probably fail. If you think you are not going to enjoy sex, you probably will not. This can be back-up by what Lori says, “This time, instead of thinking about masturbation, I just focused on feeling pleasure. When my loins started quivering and my hips started thrusting of their own accord, I turned on my turtle and immediately started shivering with waves of pleasure. In less than five minutes, I felt it.” I guess the power of thought really is a powerful thing.

The way it Was

I would like to comment on “The Way It Was” by Eleanor Cooney. First off I would like to start by saying, I do not know who this Doris Blake is, but apparently she is or was the person in charge of the advice columnist for the New York Daily and she did not care about Eleanor’s letter she had written, making a desperate plea for help regarding her pregnancy. Granted it was made up, but like she mentioned, the silence was real and there were possible other girls out there with similar stories that were actually real. I mean yes it may have been too much for the public eye to understand, however she could have written back and given some type of advice and maybe provide some hope for those girls out there that have similar situation as the one Eleanor made up. I just think it is sad that many girls in this type of situation probably turn to others for advice, but unfortunately they probably get ignored by many, hoping that it will make the problem go away. Maybe for the rest of us, however, it will most likely continue for the rest of these girls’ lives. I mean when situations like this go ignored that is when real trouble happens; home performed abortions, trying to miscarry, and other horrible things. When things go ignored it only leads to bad things.

Is Nothing Simple about Birth Control

I would like to comment on Linda Gordon’s “Is nothing Simple about Birth Control?” The first thing I would like to comment on was a statistic that she mentioned; she said that almost 600,000 women die of pregnancy related causes each year, mostly from postmortem hemorrhage. Holy S@%*! I guess I did not know that. It is scary to think about. I do not plan on having children any time soon, especially if I could die from hemorrhaging. No thank you.  I just cannot believe all the controversy over birth control and abortion. I realize that many women tend to abuse the abortion right; however there are those exceptions out there when abortion would be very appropriate, like rape. It strikes me as odd that sterilization seems to be favored more, but when you think about it, it does not leave the option open for children in the future. I mean when you really think about it, sex is usually a mutual thing, so why are there not more men out there getting vasectomies. Technically if more men got sterilized, it would solve the birth control problem, right? I mean it is an option. I guess it seems like women get looked down upon for having abortions or being on birth control, but what about the men? It takes two to reproduce, however women are the ones left with the consequence and the evidence. I also think it is sad that they restrict the media and promotion for condoms, even though most people support condoms as a birth control method, mainly because of diseases, but still. Where is the media on this? They have all these above the influence commercials and what not, but cannot talk about using a condom if you are going to have sexual intercourse? I guess I just do not understand, and probably never will.

What we do for love

I would like to comment on the reading by Rose Weitz, What We Do for Love. I really enjoyed the reading by Rose. I have never thought about hair that much, but reading this made me think about it more than I had in the past. Reflecting on the reading has made me wonder if that is the reason I have not got my hair cut that short in quite some time. The last time I went for a haircut, my stylist talked me into getting it cut shoulder length, but I do not know if I would have went any shorter. Why I do not know, maybe I like the power of my hair? I do not think I have ever done the “hair flip”, however, when I was a teen and had shorter hair, I would envy the girls who could just put their hair up without much effort and it would look good, or toss their hair to one side of their shoulder and it would fall perfectly. I also agree with a couple of the comments in the reading of how you can change your hair and you feel different, like you have transformed yourself into this new person. I use to dye my hair all the time when I was a teenager, now I still dye it, but not quite as much, and I have toned it down a bit. I also agree that with the statement that, “each day our hair provides us with us with means to create ourselves anew”, and although I know this reading was talking about woman I believe it could apply to men also. Even though men cannot transform their hair in as many ways was woman, how men wear their hair says something about the style, characteristics and such about how that particular person wants to be portrayed.  

Hermaphrodites with attitude

I would like to comment on the reading Hermaphrodites with attitude by Amy Bloom. First of all I want to start off by saying that I feel like I was taking a mini science course when I was reading this; I did not know that there was that much involved. I also did not realize how typical hermaphrodites are. In here she discusses in more detail of hermaphroditism, which is described as truly ambiguous genitals, both male and female but not a complete set of either. I guess I find this disturbing, both positively and negatively. I find it disturbing in the sense that it is out of the norm, but I also find it disturbing of how the entire process has an effect on the individual. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be different from the typical norm and the characteristics that go along with it; to be set apart because you do not have the attached characteristics to that specific gender. I guess I ponder the thought of why a gender is expected to be a certain way.

Love the Riches, Lose the Rags

http://www.grimmstories.com/en/grimm_fairy-tales/index

Above is a link to some stories of the Brothers Grimm, which I thought some were quite interesting; check it out. Before this reading I was not aware of the Brothers Grimm fairytales; where have I been? Those are the stories I should have been read to me when I was little, at least it shows the reality, which are not portrayed in th American versions. I never thought about it before, until I read Love the Riches, Lose the Rags, but it is truly is unbelievable as to how much girls almost idolize Cinderella. It is like Barbie I guess, but how can one character promote that many different items. It is unbelievable as to how far woman will go to have a Cinderella themed Wedding Day. Can you imagine how much glass shoes are, or not to mention, how uncomfortable glass shoes would be to wear? I can't imagine paying an excessive amount of money like that to replicate a fictional character. What is this world coming to?

http://www.cinderellainfo.com/

"Cinderella, in the end, makes a wonderful fairy tale, to entrance little girls and allow them to dream in the same way about their own handsome Princes, giving them a ray of hope, and great reassurance, that they will be swept off their feet in pretty much the same way as this young maiden. Cinderella is, hence, the perfect bed-time story for little kids, for they learn and understand the idealistic point of view that we human beings see the world in, apart from the reality that they experience in their everyday life." This is what tthis website says about Cinderella along with everything else under the sun that's Cinderella; kind of interesting.

Is that my son wearing a dress?

I found this story very interesting. At first I was embarrassed for the father, but as I continued to read the story the emotion of embarrassment slowly faded. I began to realize that he was not worried about what others would think of him as a father, but rather how other children reacted to his son wearing a dress. In spite his worries, they support their son anyway. I was surprised that Luke didn't change his mind when a girl had a conflict with him about the idea that only girls could be snow white, however, with the ultimatum of being Barney, Luke took it. I wonder why Luke decided to go as Barney. Maybe it was the fact that it was presented in front of him, or maybe he did get badgered more at school and did not want to confide in his parents about it. I want to believe that it was just because the idea was presented in front of him; however I believe that what his classmate said to him affected him, which is pretty sad. All Luke saw is an opportunity to be a character that he admired. It is even sadder that it had to be the little girl to question who could wear the dress. Like the author mentioned, why did the boys not mind that Luke was going to be snow white? I guess it just boggles my mind of how early these “norms” are installed to individual’s heads. It was just for one day, Halloween, out of all the days; I do not see a problem in that. I guess I am curious how boys would react to a girl being Superman or Spiderman for Halloween. Would they give the same reaction to her, as the girl gave to Luke?

I would like to talk about the reading Pop Culture Gone Wild by Jessica Valenti. I totally agree with her that pop culture has become "pornified". I also agree that it is sad that little girls are buying playboy bunny goods and bringing them to school, especially when they don't really fully understand what they are representing. It is sending the message to these industries that it is ok to target little girls. I just can't believe they would try and target girls, and I really can't believe that their parents would allow that. It makes you wonder. I believe that the parents are helping this "pornified" image of pop by allowing their children to associate with the logo. I would also like to note that it is true that men like women that claim to be virgins, however if you claim to be one and then don't give in to it, the girls are considered prude. I mean what is this world coming to. Can't people make up their minds of what they want. It was like the clip we watched from Glee. He wanted his girlfriend to dress sexier, and when she did he did not approve and wanted her to change. I just don't get it!!!!

I wanted to comment on the reading from Aya de Leon, If Women Ran Hip Hop. I enjoyed this reading, because it was really entertaining. Some of the things seemed unrealistic and to the extreme, like having social workers at the club, although I would like to see how that works, seeing as I'm going into Social Work. i would work at a club with rappers. I enjoyed the statement, " the only folks dancing in cages would be dogs and cats fromt he local animal shelter excited about getting adopted by the pet lovers in the crowd." I think it was very creative and cute to think about dogs and cats, but what about the bunnies and all the other lonely animals out there. I guess even though everything in that sounds great. I feel no matter how we make changes, that either way there is still going to be controversy and discrimination against people. It would be interesting to create a club like that just to see how it went. I bet the business would be booming. Some of the things mentioned in this reading should be alliled to the men that run hip hop. I mean condoms in a basket would be a great idea regardless of what gender. Sex is a consentual thing that affects both men and women. It would be good becasue a lot of people go out have a good time and then don't think about the consequences of their one night stands. Maybe we could prevent unwanted preganacies, not only for women, but the men as well.

I think...

I would like to comment on, Toward a New Vision, By Patricia Hill Collins. There was a part in the reading where she commented on what a 73 year old woman named Nancy White had said, which I thought was particularly interesting. She said that he mother use to say that the black woman is the white man’s mule and the white woman is his dog. Basically going on to explain that they both get beat when they do something wrong, however as the “dog” they can get closer to the master. I guess I just really liked the metaphor she used. It really laid it out there.

I think...

I would like to comment on the reading “Two sexes are not enough” By Ann Fausto-Sterling. I guess I found this reading particular interesting; because I did not know there were that many different classification of sex. I have heard of the hermaphrodite before, but I did not know in detail what it was. This reading helped me to define it. It also made me ponder the thought as to why we “have” to classify people that are born with “extra” parts right away. Like she mentioned in the book, as soon as someone is born with extra parts, they go to correct it. I mean I understand why, because if not that individual would most likely have an identity crisis. That is what our society has created, male or female. There is no in-between. Same with sexual preference; society created a heterosexual dominant world. I guess I think it is sad. Nobody wants to be different, however if they are, they should be able to be themselves without oppression, discrimination, stereotyping, etc. and be excepted for who they are.