Sexual Desire and Gender

I would like to comment on “Sexual Desire and Gender” by Pepper Schwartz and Virginia Rutter. There was a sentence in the reading that really got me thinking, “We believe, however, that it is hard to tease apart biological differences and social differences. As soon as the baby enters the world, it receives messages about gender and sexuality.” There more and more I think about this statement, the more and more it becomes clear; there is no way to break this cycle. As we have discussed earlier, as soon as people know individuals are expecting everyone always asks the famous question. “Boy or girl?”  And why does this matter? Like the reading suggests, “The different treatment continues throughout life, and therefore a sex difference at birth becomes amplified into gender differences as people mature.” This is quite sad if you think about it. Why does it have to be this way? I think the only way to break this cycle is the end the world and start over. I know it seems harsh and way out there, but if you think about it, it is the only way things would ever be any different. This notion about Gender and sexual desire will never change unless the individuals who reinforce this notion no longer exist. That is my opinion on that. On another note; I found the experiment they conducted toward the end of the reading very entertaining; where they showed men a picture of different woman, while listening to their heartbeat (or so they thought). They were then asked to pick the woman they found most attractive, however the men picked the woman who sped up their heartbeat the fastest, regardless of how attractive they thought each woman was. I thought this was really quite interesting. It attempts to explain how men and women chose their potential mates. I believe men want excitement, and women want security. Maybe this is how the saying “opposites attract” came about, or the saying, “men think with their head (and not the one on their shoulder either).” …Something to leave you with to think about.

In search for the Exclusive Orgasm

I would like to comment on the reading “In search of the exclusive orgasm” in Young Wives’ Tales by Lori L. Tharps. As Lori states in the beginning of the story: “Basically, it comes down to this: The Harlequin romance novel and all of its heftier bodice-ripping incarnations shaped the way I viewed sexuality. It's how I cobbled together my understanding of what really went on between a man and a woman, only to discover eighteen years later that I got it all wrong.” I feel this is the case for many young individuals for virtually every subject. Like women with Disney and their perception of love, or men and their perception of how a woman should be, or act in bed. The media along with Hollywood create these fantasy “scenarios” of how life is; when in reality it is nothing of the sort. I remember watching certain shows and getting this idea of how teenage love was: two people madly in love with the world on their shoulders, but only to discover it was a nightmare. They forget to tell you about the details: disloyal, betrayal, immature, and the list goes on. Unfortunately it was the same situation with Lori and her sexual experiences. The authors of these romance novels overstate the sexual experiences between a man and a woman, which as Lori, and I am sure many other individuals, discovered is nothing close to the real experiences between “normal” human beings. Granted everyone experiences situations differently, but I do not think many can relate to what the media holds “true” about many situations, especially sexual. It can relate to what we saw in class on 20/20 where Jenny McCarthy was talking about woman and multitasking and how they will think about having to do the dishes or something while they are having sex. Where I believe it is all about willpower and the self-efficacy. If you think you are going to fail, you will probably fail. If you think you are not going to enjoy sex, you probably will not. This can be back-up by what Lori says, “This time, instead of thinking about masturbation, I just focused on feeling pleasure. When my loins started quivering and my hips started thrusting of their own accord, I turned on my turtle and immediately started shivering with waves of pleasure. In less than five minutes, I felt it.” I guess the power of thought really is a powerful thing.

The way it Was

I would like to comment on “The Way It Was” by Eleanor Cooney. First off I would like to start by saying, I do not know who this Doris Blake is, but apparently she is or was the person in charge of the advice columnist for the New York Daily and she did not care about Eleanor’s letter she had written, making a desperate plea for help regarding her pregnancy. Granted it was made up, but like she mentioned, the silence was real and there were possible other girls out there with similar stories that were actually real. I mean yes it may have been too much for the public eye to understand, however she could have written back and given some type of advice and maybe provide some hope for those girls out there that have similar situation as the one Eleanor made up. I just think it is sad that many girls in this type of situation probably turn to others for advice, but unfortunately they probably get ignored by many, hoping that it will make the problem go away. Maybe for the rest of us, however, it will most likely continue for the rest of these girls’ lives. I mean when situations like this go ignored that is when real trouble happens; home performed abortions, trying to miscarry, and other horrible things. When things go ignored it only leads to bad things.

Is Nothing Simple about Birth Control

I would like to comment on Linda Gordon’s “Is nothing Simple about Birth Control?” The first thing I would like to comment on was a statistic that she mentioned; she said that almost 600,000 women die of pregnancy related causes each year, mostly from postmortem hemorrhage. Holy S@%*! I guess I did not know that. It is scary to think about. I do not plan on having children any time soon, especially if I could die from hemorrhaging. No thank you.  I just cannot believe all the controversy over birth control and abortion. I realize that many women tend to abuse the abortion right; however there are those exceptions out there when abortion would be very appropriate, like rape. It strikes me as odd that sterilization seems to be favored more, but when you think about it, it does not leave the option open for children in the future. I mean when you really think about it, sex is usually a mutual thing, so why are there not more men out there getting vasectomies. Technically if more men got sterilized, it would solve the birth control problem, right? I mean it is an option. I guess it seems like women get looked down upon for having abortions or being on birth control, but what about the men? It takes two to reproduce, however women are the ones left with the consequence and the evidence. I also think it is sad that they restrict the media and promotion for condoms, even though most people support condoms as a birth control method, mainly because of diseases, but still. Where is the media on this? They have all these above the influence commercials and what not, but cannot talk about using a condom if you are going to have sexual intercourse? I guess I just do not understand, and probably never will.

What we do for love

I would like to comment on the reading by Rose Weitz, What We Do for Love. I really enjoyed the reading by Rose. I have never thought about hair that much, but reading this made me think about it more than I had in the past. Reflecting on the reading has made me wonder if that is the reason I have not got my hair cut that short in quite some time. The last time I went for a haircut, my stylist talked me into getting it cut shoulder length, but I do not know if I would have went any shorter. Why I do not know, maybe I like the power of my hair? I do not think I have ever done the “hair flip”, however, when I was a teen and had shorter hair, I would envy the girls who could just put their hair up without much effort and it would look good, or toss their hair to one side of their shoulder and it would fall perfectly. I also agree with a couple of the comments in the reading of how you can change your hair and you feel different, like you have transformed yourself into this new person. I use to dye my hair all the time when I was a teenager, now I still dye it, but not quite as much, and I have toned it down a bit. I also agree that with the statement that, “each day our hair provides us with us with means to create ourselves anew”, and although I know this reading was talking about woman I believe it could apply to men also. Even though men cannot transform their hair in as many ways was woman, how men wear their hair says something about the style, characteristics and such about how that particular person wants to be portrayed.  

Hermaphrodites with attitude

I would like to comment on the reading Hermaphrodites with attitude by Amy Bloom. First of all I want to start off by saying that I feel like I was taking a mini science course when I was reading this; I did not know that there was that much involved. I also did not realize how typical hermaphrodites are. In here she discusses in more detail of hermaphroditism, which is described as truly ambiguous genitals, both male and female but not a complete set of either. I guess I find this disturbing, both positively and negatively. I find it disturbing in the sense that it is out of the norm, but I also find it disturbing of how the entire process has an effect on the individual. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be different from the typical norm and the characteristics that go along with it; to be set apart because you do not have the attached characteristics to that specific gender. I guess I ponder the thought of why a gender is expected to be a certain way.

Love the Riches, Lose the Rags

http://www.grimmstories.com/en/grimm_fairy-tales/index

Above is a link to some stories of the Brothers Grimm, which I thought some were quite interesting; check it out. Before this reading I was not aware of the Brothers Grimm fairytales; where have I been? Those are the stories I should have been read to me when I was little, at least it shows the reality, which are not portrayed in th American versions. I never thought about it before, until I read Love the Riches, Lose the Rags, but it is truly is unbelievable as to how much girls almost idolize Cinderella. It is like Barbie I guess, but how can one character promote that many different items. It is unbelievable as to how far woman will go to have a Cinderella themed Wedding Day. Can you imagine how much glass shoes are, or not to mention, how uncomfortable glass shoes would be to wear? I can't imagine paying an excessive amount of money like that to replicate a fictional character. What is this world coming to?

http://www.cinderellainfo.com/

"Cinderella, in the end, makes a wonderful fairy tale, to entrance little girls and allow them to dream in the same way about their own handsome Princes, giving them a ray of hope, and great reassurance, that they will be swept off their feet in pretty much the same way as this young maiden. Cinderella is, hence, the perfect bed-time story for little kids, for they learn and understand the idealistic point of view that we human beings see the world in, apart from the reality that they experience in their everyday life." This is what tthis website says about Cinderella along with everything else under the sun that's Cinderella; kind of interesting.